Meet The Loseys

For the third time within the past year, one of my best friends called me up to say "Hey, what's up? I got married tonight."

Renee Mayfield married Jason Losey on Friday, November 13th after 2 1/2 years of blissful dating. It was real low-key (obv since I found out about it afterwards) but totally appropriate for them. The big, flashy, white, lacy, cake to do was never really Renee's thing.

She's always done her own thing, her own way which is why I first approached her in P.E. class way back in the ninth grade. That girl has her eyebrow pierced YOU GUYS! And she didn't have a curfew. And she's older (by a whole year!). And she can pull of every shade of hair color imaginable (although we love her the most RED). Seriously, Renee was the coolest person I had EVER come across (and still is). She definitely has this edge about her, a toughness on the surface but she is one of the most caring people I have ever met. And she's funny. Hysterical, actually. We are 12 years into our lifelong friendship and realized recently that we have never gotten in a fight. That has GOT to break some kind of record for teenage/mid-20 girls. We've just always been very real with one another and we've always known how to have a DAMN GOOD TIME. Did you hear about the time that we memorized the dance to N*SYNC's "Bye, Bye, Bye" and performed it for her dad so he would buy us tickets to their concert? He stayed true to his word and that was the first of MANY concerts featuring Justin Timberlake and/or Britney Spears that we would attend. Yes, Eener is my guilty pleasure partner. From car dancing to the THONG SONG to standing in line at Smith's at the crack of dawn to get tickets to N*Sync to the new obsession of the Twilight saga...we are TOTALLY geeks about everything tweens are supposed to eat up like candy. She has been such an amazing friend to me over the past 12 years. We've survived high school, heartbreak, a car crash, the fall of Britney Spears, hangovers, the wrath of Pep, birth and death of family pets, opening night of New Moon and did I mention hangovers?

And Jay....he's THE SAME as us (minus the Tween loving, he is a little more on the Punk Rock side). We have SSFS every Sunday night at their house where we eat ridiculous amounts of food and spend the evening watching TV, playing RockBand and talking shit. Last night Golden Spoon was the featured dessert of the evening. As we're watching The Simpsons, Jay gets up and says (in complete seriousness), "I'm going to have my Cingha-Hoo-Ha now but I'm guessing you girls want to wait on yours?" I said "Pardon?", come to find out Jay has made up names for EVERYTHING and it 97% of the time, it starts with Chinga. Who does that?? People that I love to associate with aka: not the norm. Plus he's REAL GOOD about asking me about my new boy endeavours and is open about giving me the male perspective of my dating life if I need it.

So on the wedding....can I get a "I called it!" and maybe not exactly the way it went down but it does make total sense for them. From the moment I first hung out with Renee and Jay, I knew that they would tie the knot. Funny this is, we went to high school with Jay and had you asked me then what I thought about the two of them getting hitched one day, I would have looked at you like "Say WHA?" But that's the way the world works sometimes. One day, you can be wandering the halls of Cimarron Memorial together and 10 years later, you can be happily married with 5 dogs and a home.

Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Losey. I love you both and am so, so happy for your new life together (and with me every Sunday).

Only in Vegas

I now represent a chocolate company (ethel's, my heart), a pizza place (Sammy's, my stomach) and a titty show (Fantasy, my....?) which HELLO, only in Vegas.

I've been meaning to do this post for awhile now, seeing as I live in one of the most unconventional cities in the world. So I've made a little list of things that I have experienced that made me say "Only in Vegas."

1. Every time I leave town and come home through McCarren Airport, the sound dingdingding of the slot machines, sounds like home. Or how about the fact that, most of the time, I don't even hear that sound anymore. This worries me, have I been here too long??

2. I drive past New York, New York, Paris and Monte Carlo to get to school.

3. It's 92 degrees at 8 a.m. OR more recently, it's 88 degrees in the middle of November.

4. We have a snow day once every 30 years (and for 8 inches of flurries).

5. 1/2 of the pictures on your Facebook have the "Spy on Vegas" logo in the bottom right corner.

6. Your night starts at 11 because here, there is no such thing as LAST CALL.

7. The Hard Rock Pool (home of Rehab) is like your friend who really isn't your friend but you pretend to like them so you can go swim in their AWESOME pool. Because The Strip is our backyard.

8. You despise the saying "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." As Lauren once pointed out, it doesn't count if you stay in Vegas.

9. Have you ever heard the one about the time I went to a friend's wedding and ended up with three Asian prostitutes at my hotel door at 4 a.m.? If not, ask me about it next time we have drinks, it's a good one.

10. If there isn't FREE CHAMPAGNE FOR LADIES, I'm not going.

11. It's 2 p.m. on a Friday and you're sitting at rehearsals for a topless show next to Robin Leach.

12. State taxes are considered foreign policy to you.

13. You know when Nevada Day is and feel the right to celebrate.

14. You come out on November 17th to a chocolate factory to watch 3-acres of cacti get lit up with 1/2 a million lights (and consider it a holiday tradition).

15. The boy you're (no longer) dating, tells you he just got a new job working security. At a strip club.

16. A story of the dangers of pole dancing in a moving vechicle runs in the daily paper.

I'm sure there are a ton more and I'd love to hear your own "Only in Vegas" story in the comment section below. I'll continue to add to this list as Vegas happens.